![WHAT IS THE “WH...]()
My “Why” on this day is: WHAT CAN I DO AND THINK ABOUT TODAY THAT WILL GENERATE GREAT GRANDCHILDREN THAT ARE: Self Reliant, Responsible, Kind and Joyous Contributors to their community?
I generally sleep well, but last night I was awake at 3am thinking about my WHY questions. Why is the OMOIDE writing program important to me. Why do I want to work to raise money so the Japanese Cultural and Community Center will be impacting our community for the next 100 years?
Last Sunday evening I brought two new neighbors from Guadalajara, Mexico, with me to a Seattle Symphony Community Concert at the Benaroya in downtown Seattle. The reason I asked my neighbors to attend was because I wanted them to learn about some of our Japanese in America experience.
The evening’s experience was the collaboration of composer Paul Kikuchi putting wings of sound to our OMOIDE (memories) stories of Executive Order 9066. In 1942, 110,000 of us with as little as 1/16 Japanese Heritage living in the west coastal states of Washington, Oregon & California were incarcerated. Families could only take what they could carry, leaving their homes and businesses.
Why is it important to capture and remember the stories of such a tragedy in American History? Why are we writing stories that will impact the 5th grade?
Today, I’m listening to a podcast by Navy Seal, Jocko Willink, who explains why he writes children’s books. He is explaining how his older daughter wasn’t learning her times tables in school. It dawned on him that she would benefit from some of his Navy Seal training. Subsequently, he chose to write a children’s book about dealing with “bullying” which became a best seller. The most satisfying review was from an adult woman that said the book changed her life.
Jocko Willink goes on to say, “The most important part of life is to learn to face our setbacks. Anyone’s heritage is full of cataclysms!! It’s important to remember, shorten our reaction times, and practice ways to overcome.” His daughter practiced math skills and the victim of the bullying found out the person who was bullying him was just as scared as himself.
Similarly, our OMOIDE books are generating the most reviews from adults. For 30 years we have documented stories of the Japanese Experience in the Pacific Northwest of Immigration and the Incarceration with first person stories of the experience as children of the Issei, Nisei and Sansei.
Everything rises and falls on “leadership”, ”Infinite Parenting” and waking up at night asking “Why”. It is exciting to see our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren doing spectacular things with their learning, writing, music and art as humanity continues to evolve.
![JAPANESE CULTURAL AND CO...]()
JAPANESE CULTURAL AND COMMUNITY CENTER OF WASHINGTON
Immigrants 1912 making major contributions to our Seattle community
The other day, I asked my 15-yr-old granddaughter, “How do you feel about your Japanese Heritage?
‘
She answered, “It gives me energy and I feel more power.”
“Give me an example of when you feel like this,” I implored.
“Well, a couple times when I was with some friends and the subject came up, I said I’m ‘Go-sei’ (5th generation Japanese American) and I felt good.”
This response is thrilling to me. Perhaps our parenting, my husband’s comic strips for the North American Post and our books are resonating. I have a vision for a better Pacific Northwest community because we are sharing our OMOIDE (Memories), a program of the Japanese Cultural and Community Center of Washington. The stories of our Japanese in America experience and heritage values have been published in five volumes, written for 5th graders. We have plans for OMOIDE VI.
With the Covid Isolation and the passing of my husband, I am on an added path as I move into the 8th decade of life, I’m excited to share past learning and stories with new technology such as podcasts and cooperating with other venues such as STORIES AT THE PANAMA and EVENING AT THE SEATTLE REPERTORY THEATER.
I am surprised daily with leading scientists around the world citing examples from the Japanese culture as they lecture and talk about their research. This clearly backs up the benefits of passing-on our Japanese Heritage Values, not only for our own decedents, but for the benefit of our neighbors here in America. The following are a couple examples.
Ethologist Frans de Waal, in a recent podcast talked about conflict resolution. His example was about how in Japan, adults and teachers do not intervene in children’s fights. They consider it natural learning and let them work things out for themselves at their level, without adult or community rules. De Waal did a lot of studies with Chimps and Monkeys, citing, “Are We Smart Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are?”
Psychiatrist, Iain McGilchrist, who researches the difference between the left and right hemispheres of the brain, says, “The Western Culture has been mostly created by left brain activity which deals with numbers and goals for “parts” of our life.” He suggests we incorporate more of the Asian and particularly parts of the Japanese culture into our lives. This would bring the right brain emotions and look at our world as “whole” instead of just parts.
Although it’s not empirical studies sanctioned by a modern University, the Japanese had 200 years of the Edo Period which brought the practices of the arts and cultural expectations to a researched science and social norm.
As a member of the board of the Japanese Cultural and Community Center of Washington, I am picturing a tour guide, 100 years from now, bringing attention to the strong heritage values like “being honest” and “resilience” shaping our Northwest community along with similar values with other ethnic communities.
The stories and words we share today, 2022, will guide that vision of our future.
![Inspiration to not be a Zombie!]()
Inspiration to not be a Zombie!
Oprah considers Dr. Tererai Trent from Zimbabwe her all-time favorite guest. Listening to a podcast, Tererai’s story starts with how she wrote down her goals for coming to America and achieving a PhD, and buried them in a can similar to the Zimbabwe custom of burying a baby’s umbilical cord. It took her twenty years but she persisted and is achieving more than her initial goals.
Two aspects of Tererai’s story immediately resonate with me. The first is the significance of the Umbilical Cord. In Zimbabwe it is buried as a symbol of never losing the memory and the significance of one’s birth place. In Japan, many believe the significance of the umbilical cord directly impacts the baby’s health. The hospital usually gives the mother a special box to preserve the cord. Sam’s mother saved Sam’s and he was told, “It can be used for a medicine if you need it.” We can be Umbilical Cords ourselves and do more than impacting just physical health.
The second significance of Tererai’s story is that her mother particularly encouraged her and said, “Your goals are only of value when tied to betterment of your community.”
Similar to the Umbilical Cord’s being a conduit of nutrition to a new life, stories and OMOIDE - Memories need us as “Umbilical Cords” of passing on psychological, philosophical and historical values to the next generations. Tereria is sharing her story and each one of us can do the same.
Everyone has a story.
![CHOOSING NOT TO BE A ZOMBIE]()
CHOOSING NOT TO BE A ZOMBIE
MORTALITY has never bothered me. This morning, I'm listening to one of my favorite podcasters, Lex Fridman.
Randomly, as she was leaving for an appointment, I asked Kelly, my daughter, "What is your greatest fear?" Her answer was, “To be buried with Zombies all around me.” That means she has to be buried alive and conscious? Also Zombies have to be created by her consciousness. Therefore, what Kelly can do is to take more responsibility for her thinking??
As I continue to listen to Lex interviewing John Vervaeke, Department of Psychology Faculty Director at U of Toronto, they keep mentioning "Zombies" in searching for wisdom. Vervaeke suggests “life/death” is like an orchestra playing a piece of music and when it ends; WAS IT BEAUTIFUL?
Looking up the definition of “Zombies”: a will-less and speechless human.
If being a Zombie is to become my greatest fear, what do I need to do and learn to overcome this fear??? For sure, to keep listening, learning and making choices for my thinking is where I'm going.
![LIGHTING A MATCH IN THE RA...]()
LIGHTING A MATCH IN THE RAIN
From the Imagination of a 13-yr-old
![HAWAII VACATION After she go...]()
HAWAII VACATION
After she got home with no picture, just her imagination
Listening to Ian McGilchrist talk about his book, "THE MASTER AND HIS EMISSARY - The Divided brain and the Making of the Western World". He talks about the differences between the right brain and left brain and appreciation of beauty. I like his discussions about the dominance and arrogance of our left brain in the last 100 years because of science and earning a living.
McGilchrist tells a story about building a school somewhere in Mexico. Despite their poverty, what the parents requested most was something beautiful as well as practical. This story highlights the learning children acquire from harmony of form and proportions.
McGilchrist beautifully explains the necessity of the left hemisphere of our brain, needed for acquiring our daily bread. But it is the right hemisphere that interprets and explains the world in which we live.
My own study was of the the differences in the right and left brain and our need to appreciate both in dealing with stress and living our daily lives. Therefore, I’m finding new insight in appreciation of my 13-yr-old granddaughter, Kaori’s, watercolors. She asked for watercolor paints for her birthday in June and has been producing an incredible portfolio.
![Toothache Cure Worked!]()
Toothache Cure Worked!
Annette visited us this summer from Germany. She was a high school exchange student with our daughter 36 years ago here at Mercer Island High School. She gave me a huge hug and commented, “The last time I was in your house, I was traveling abroad with my boyfriend, Bo. Remember how you cured his problem?"
I do remember. Bo had stomach issues and since I’m a nurse, I was consulted. They were passing through Seattle and it was not serious enough to go to the hospital emergency nor was it convenient to find a doctor. My husband, Sam, suggested, “Dee, why don’t you try the ’’Toothache Cure' your Grandpa taught you?”
I had used it once, with seemingly okay results, but I was skeptical and questioned, "Why would a Toothache Cure work for a stomach issue?”
Sam shot back, “I know you won’t tell me exactly how it works, but I can guess and since it’s not ingested and doesn’t touch the person, why not try?”
Embarrassed to be acting like a Medicine-man, I needed to know Bo’s age and Sam went to get a sheet of copy paper I needed. I performed the ritual - cutting pieces of paper and placing them in a glass of water. Sam set the glass of water on our kitchen windowsill. After some more visiting Annette and Bo went on their way and we never knew the results at that time.
Grandpa lived to age 90 and showed me the secret one day in the 1970s before he died. He explained in Japanese, “This is a special secret that no one else knows and I am choosing you to learn this 'toothache cure’. I believe in it, but there is better medicine today so I don’t do it much anymore.
Grandpa explained more about his family. My father was a second son and would not inherit any property. So, I was adopted by this Samurai and his wife that didn’t have any children. I learned this secret from my adopted father. I don’t know where he learned it, but it had been passed down for many generations.”
Sam was particularly intrigued and excited for me to be bequeathed this gift because he remembered a time when he was 4-years-old and living in Renton, WA. His brother, Fred, got a bad tooth ache. Sam recalled, asking Mr. Tsukamaki to perform his ritual, was the answer. I asked Sam’s mom about it and she confirmed that it was known among the Japanese farmers in the Kent, Auburn Valley that my grandpa would help. She explaining, “No one could afford to go to a Dentist in those days."
Between practicing Toothache Cures, Grandpa Tsukamaki was one of the 100 Japanese Dairy Farmers who supplied as much as 1/2 of Seattle’s milk supply around 1920 until they were discriminated out of the business by the Alien Land Law and the big milk companies refusing to take their product. Then he worked at farming until he helped set up two of his sons with the ONTARIO FISH MARKET grocery business in Eastern Oregon, where I was born.
Our families were not incarcerated because Grandpa had migrated several of us beyond the restricted zone in 1937. The Ontario Market serviced many Japanese Americans leaving Minidoka and restarting their lives with the opportunity for row crop farms created by the Owyhee Dam for that Eastern Oregon, Western Idaho community.
I lived with my grandpa off and on until I was11-years-old and I remember the glass of water sitting on our kitchen windowsill a few times. By the late 1940s and early 1950s, science, doctors and dentists considered these ancient remedies quackery.
Now, in the 2020s, more and more of these remedies are being embraced because modern medicine doesn’t have all the answers. Acupuncture practitioner, Nancy, tells me there is a direct path from our teeth to our stomach.
Thanks Annette for sharing with me the TOOTHACHE CURE worked!
![A GRANDDAUGHTER KAORI WAT...]()
A GRANDDAUGHTER KAORI WATERCOLOR
Today is Kirin's 15th birthday. It's raining so the plan for Paddle Boating and swimming are questionable. School friends are here to celebrate this special day and the Blue Angel fighter planes are flying by as they practice for Seattle Seafair and create celebratory clamor.
We are feeling the rain is expressing a tribute to the life of Henry, Sam's brother, who passed this morning around 3am. Henry's daughter, Erica, is noticing a humming bird who came to visit and she says, "Dad loved humming birds."
Sister, Irene, also had a humming bird visit this morning.
Sam's older daughter, Lynette, sends a text message saying, "This may be "woo-woo", but I'm feel Dad was and is with Uncle Henry ."
Humming birds bring signs of hope and good luck, but also have a spiritual significance and means the spirit of a loved one is near.
![LEARNING TO MAKE IT HEART ...]()
LEARNING TO MAKE IT HEART TO HEART
I’m listening to Agapi Stassinopoulos who wrote CENTER YOURSELF: “Find it and give it to the world.”
This chart was created with what I learned with Thomas Gordon’s PARENT EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING class we organized in our home. In the 1970s we used a lot of “You Language” or talking from the “Parent” and that brought a response from the “Child” in our girls.
I remember one day saying, “Lynette, I feel ‘sad’ that you were so rude.”
She shot back, “Oh Mom, don’t use that stuff on me!” But she didn’t get mad and we learned to not express as much judgementalness.
Today, I am learning more than just picking a “feel word” from a list, communicating and learning with myself. As I explained in a previous blog, I am an “adult” with a Parent-Adult-Child inside me. My own “Parent” is consulting mentors like Agapi to give me ideas for taking care of the Child within me.
Today July 2022, my brother-in-law is in the hospital and may be taking his last breaths. Four years ago, my husband Sam died. Those of us who loved and still love them have a new path ahead. We are still in uncertainty with the Corona Pandemic and other uncertainties.
Repeating Agapi’s words to myself: I want to exercise my inner muscles to be grounded in my calmness, in difficulties, learning to engage in uncomfortable conversations , in my learning and my joy.
I just made a phone call to our 95-yr-old Aunt. She is home and available for a visit. I’m taking our dog, Suki, and I’m using my “Golden Key of Therapy” - TALKING!
![PRACTICING AND CONTINUING T...]()
PRACTICING AND CONTINUING TO LEARN
A granddaughter Kirin drawing
This morning as I was doing my part of clearing the kitchen sink and loading the dishwasher, 15-yr-old came running in to our adjacent utility room, unloading the dryer and putting in the clean washing. It was a chance for me to say, “You’ve been good about doing your own laundry!”
Yesterday, I drove 15-yr-old to Groveland Beach for sunning and swimming with her friends. Since we were alone in the car, I had a chance to discuss some recent "rise in temperature discussions" and compliment her, “I really like how you stay respectful of your Mom when she is reminding you of cleaning up your room and helping keep the living room clean.”
She answered, “That’s because I do respect her. She is a single Mom and has a big load of responsibility.” The answer was somewhat a surprise. I felt good about how we are communicating, but I know we have to keep practicing and learning.
Friends ask me, “How is it going with your daughter moving in to your house with her two daughters?”
I answer, “I’m good at keeping my mouth shut. I have a rule: No talking during problem times.” This is a rule I teach and counsel. I learned it from a class I organized, where I had a teacher come to our home when our daughters were in in their pre-teen years - PARENT EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING.
The skills I had to start learning and find myself still learning are:
1. Learning to quickly recognize “problem times” and “cross communication issues”.
2. Keeping my mouth shut until I can use effective “I language” and “Adult to Adult Communication.
3. Making dates “one-on-one at public places”, discussing issues and “Thinking Beyond Stage One”.
4. Catching others as well as myself, “Doing Good”.
My blogging style is to keep each blog short with an incident or two and new insights I have gained as I keep learning. Therefore, I will discuss each of the four skills listed above in separate blogs going forward.
!["INFINITE LEADERSHIP/PARENT...]()
"INFINITE LEADERSHIP/PARENTING"
Within each of us!!!
The lessons I take from this discussion of LORD OF THE FLIES is that given the reception by academics, 70th on the list of recommended reading, I am willing to agree with those saying this is a good description of our human nature. "There is a dark element in each of us that needs discipline."
I like the follow-up true story about how the boys from Australia who may have read the book and learned to operate differently. Their 15-month ordeal on their deserted island started with an agreement not to argue. I like finding such inspiration as I take on the responsibility of “Infinite Parenting”.
The definition of “Infinite” vs “finite” come from SIMON SINEK who applies it to leadership in business situations. In some of his talks he suggests leadership and parenting are similar. Finite refers to leading a team with the goal of winning. Infinite refers to leadership where the project or business continues beyond the wins.
One of my counseling goals is from what I learned when I helped start the Suzuki Method of Talent Education. Starting music with a toddler requires a “teacher", the “parent" also learning how to teach the practice and the “child". I suggest “ADULT” means I take care of the “child” within myself by being my own good “parent”, who seeks and finds MY “mentors” such as understanding THE LORD OF FLIES.
Our stories as Americans with Japanese Heritage values will be influential when the JCCCW is part of the Seattle Public Tour 100 years from now.
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