gotohealth's Blog

One of my commitments now, at age 87, is to use our examples of the Japanese in America experience here in the Pacific Northwest of the USA, with our attention getting story of the WWII incarceration, to influence school children in Seattle and Washington to write and pass on to future generations their own heritage stories.

 

I choose to appeal to school children, with our stories, because there were plenty of academic history and adult books. I am a fan of Dale Carnegie’s idea that 500 words or less with an “Incident - Point - Benefit” is how to appeal to young readers and listeners. We have found that our short stories also appeal to adults.

 

It started, in my life, with the title to my master’s thesis in Psychosocial Nursing from the U of WA in Seattle in 1988 - THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE RIGHT AND LEFT BRAIN AND HOW WE USE SOCIAL SUPPORT.

 

I’m not a fan of big words, but what I want to promote is an idea of how our stories can further benefit our Pacific Northwest community. “Hemispheric Lateralization” is the tendency for certain cognitive, emotional and motor functions to be localized or specialized to one side of the brain. While the two hemispheres are connected by the Corpus Callosum and work together, they divide tasks to maximize efficiency and cognitive capacity.

 

Iain McGilchrist wrote a couple of giant books about the differences and how we need to balance our right brain thinking with our left brain thinking for fulfillment and happiness. He is a British psychiatrist, philosopher and neuroscientist. 

 

Our Western European thinking is left brain dominant with “What, Where, How”. Iain confirms that our Asian and particularly Japanese heritage values with more “Why and Spiritual” is something we can share and copy for more right brain balance and more satisfaction.

 

Arthur Brooks, who grew up in Seattle, regularly cites Iain McGilchrist to emphasize “HAPPINESS”, a class he teaches at Harvard U. His opening statement is often, “50% of who you are comes from your genetic heritage.” How we have learned, and best continue to learn is with STORY TELLING!

 

I believe I was led to pass on our Japanese Heritage Values with OMOIDE (memories) story-telling/writing the last 35 years, since 1991. Our consistency of meeting monthly provides a deadline for getting it down in writing and has led to six publications.

 

Happiness is not just finding pleasure/feelings. It’s “enjoyment/satisfaction/meaning”. Talk to your relatives and friends and find stories because there is science behind “HAPPINESS & FULFILLMENT” with connections and memories.

My mother, Mary, like Jacquline Kennedy, similarly agreed to an arrangement. Like the Bouvier/Kennedys, my paternal grandfather was ambitious, and had resources in Japan. My maternal grandfather had political capital with the Japanese in America of the early 1900s on the West Coast and particularly in Washington State. In the years up to the 1930s, most marriages were also still arranged within the Americans of Japanese heritage here in the United States. 

 

K. Miyamoto, my paternal grandfather, suggested he would forgive the debt owed him by K. Tsukamaki, my maternal grandfather, if his daughter would agree to the arrangement. My mother told me, “I knew that Dad had gone to college and his family was wealthy, so I agreed.” She was 18-years-old. My father was age 28 and that was common marital ages for families to consider arrangements.

 

My father, Sago (Americanized from the famous Japanese warrior Seigo Takamori) born in 1908, was one of the first “NISEI” (second generation American of Japanese heritage).  My father was a "born again" Christian, was not an ambitious entrepreneurial individual like most other Nisei and against smoking.  I had lunch with one of my Tsukamaki cousins recently and he said, “Do you know how poor you were?” 

 

Therefore, all my growing up years, my Tsukamaki Grandpa and my Tsukamaki Uncles took care of us a lot financially. My Miyamoto grandparents and Uncle had gone back to live in Japan in 1936, because of impending war of the US and Japan - leaving my father penniless in hopes of enticing him to Japan to oversee the inheritance of being the oldest sons.

 

When I married, it was more important to me that my Uncles approved of my choices, than my father and mother approving. I married someone who understood this family heritage responsibility.  We bought a house for my parents to live in for several years and they ended their years helping my sister raise her family and living with her.

 

For several years after I left home, my mother called “ME”, to keep my father in-line. When I was with them in the car, my mother would say, “Turn left Sago”, and my father would turn right. Gradually understanding life dynamics, it became a joke and I learned to appreciate how Dad handled life his own way. He hated Japan and chose to be a independent American. I've learned to appreciate him more and proud now of his "Self-made Social Worker" life!

 

My mother out-lived her husband twenty eight years until she was 90 years of age. She led a lot of my growing up years in bed sucumbing to her weak physical nature, and disappointing marrital life.  But I learned to be strong as a result!  She changed in her later life and left us with her story of a fulfilling life with her husband. They are buried together in Kent, WA, where she was born.

It occurs to me cousin Don, that your yard and home are equal to a great musical symphony in your creation and perfect work. 

 

I have my cup of coffee on the patio table in the yard outside your Tualitin, Oregon, home. My iPhone is playing a musical piano competition in which 8-yr-old Yuki Tanaka is describing the nature and colors she sees as she interprets Beethoven on the piano. 

 

Here I am, enjoying the morning sun, highlighting the bi-weekly manicured grass, carefully edged with a path of river rock; secluded with tall hedges; hearing the sound of the water fountains on the far side and the whispers of the breeze creating intermittent adagio moments of wind chimes next to sections of Japanese Irises opening to our May spring sun.

 

You are creating and living your composition! 

 OMOIDE is the writing group, started in 1991 for the benefit of the Seattle community, publishing stories for the next generations of families and Washington State school children. The stories feature Japanese Heritage Principles and memories of discrimination, incarceration, hardships, kindness and hope. Research and many professionals cite writing and heritage stories as key to life fulfillment & happiness.

 

OMOIDE started in the process of incorporating the Japanese Heritage Community effort to develop a historic cultural and community center of Washington. Four of us began meeting in the Goto home kitchen with, Chuck Kato, Del Uchida & Margaret Yasuda exchanging memories, writing and taking the stories to Kinko to be Christmas presents for friends and family. OMOIDE was part of the Seattle Film Festival around 2011 and sold out at the Seattle Rep programs in 2023 & 2024.

 

The 2003 NIKKEI HERITAGE ASSOCIATION OF WASHINGTON (NHAW) incorporation, soon known as the Japanese Cultural and Community Center of Washington (JCCCW), used a KIP TOKUDA grant from the Office of the Superintendent of Public Education, for OMOIDE IV to help acquire the first paid employee of our JCCCW. 

 

OMOIDE donations are part of the JCCCW budget, to be used if necessary. Individuals like Ats Kiuchi have contributed time and honorariums regularly for speakers and writing facilitators for the program. Janine Brodine has been our writing facilitator since 2012. Participants have various heritages.

 

OMOIDE VI is currently available at the JCCCW Hosekibako. Proceeds from the book  as well as contributions benefit JCCCW needs for the facility and programs. We gather at the “J” and look forward to sharing stories for many years forward.

 One night, last week, I watched a Hallmark movie on my computer, alone in my room. The divorced Hispanic restaurant owner in Seattle watches his daughter’s school teacher breaking up a romantic relationship in his restaurant. She is blond and “white”, and school activities get them, the restaurant owner and teacher, together on a project in the next few weeks. As the relationship advanced, the teacher, learning to lets her professional demeanor relax towards the end of the movie, learns to be more openly emotional and even says, “Bésame!” (kiss me!). It filled me with the loving emotions conveyed. There was mariachi music to highlight the mood. I had a tingle in my heart, a smile on my face, but knew I would never have used that word myself because of my heritage.

 

As I reveled in the good feeling, being of Japanese heritage and having a husband of Japanese Heritage, I decided to look up on the Safari Internet the meaning of “Besame” in Japanese. When I saw the letters “Kisu-shite” I had a good laugh because one has to have lived in a Japanese heritage environment to understand that “kisu-shite?” is very bland and comical if I’m with a boyfriend in America! It’s almost like an order, cold and perfunctory, not romantic. It is literally an embarrassment and never used!

 

The next day telling my daughter, who is fourth-generation American with Japanese heritage, about the movie, I got very little reaction. But I went out and met Joy Nakanishi for coffee. 

 

I am moved to blog this on our Dreamersi network because a lot of you will feel the same! This is such a good example of misunderstandings in different cultures. But comedy is the best way to bridge our differences!

 

Telling Joy, who also had Nisei (second generation of Japanese heritage) parents the story, we giggled and giggled and giggled for several minutes, picturing our parents and even our selves saying that to our mates or boyfriends when we were dating!!!

“It starts with being less unhappy”, according to Arthur Brooks. So I’m deciding to make a list of the activities that make me happy. I love conversations and particularly in person. Therefore, I schedule one-on-one lunches every week. 

 

Evidently, there is research that says, “Women need more in-person eye input. Men need more touch.” Therefore, in our current world of “zoom & device” usage, it’s up to me to take the initiative to acquire in-person connections.

 

Secondly, I make my bed every day. For some reason, I unconsciously notice drawers and cupboard doors that are ajar; without thinking, I’m straightening things. Now that I live with three others who do not have this inclination, I remember how I handled it as a parent. I invited people over and that would get them to clean up. 

 

In other words “fear of other people’s opinion” can actually be used to work in my favor. That’s also a good/bad value from my Japanese heritage that I can use for my own convenience! Also, I’m learning to find things about myself that I appreciate MORE OPENLY.

 

I am feeling lonely since my husband passed eight years ago and five of my closer friends passed in the last couple years. I have thoughts of finding a partner like I had in my marriage! What I’m learning is more about myself. What I’m realizing is that I’ve had 87 years of a pretty good life that “just happened”! Where I’m learning to be alive is to understand that my skills and emotions are attributes that I need to consciously think about and express to myself - not from someone outside?

 

I used to teach about the Teacher-Parent-Child inside us, needing to mature. A healthy adult learns to parent the child within! What has changed, in my last few years, is to add the “love”; not just the “will”.

 

Teaching was from my left-brain, logic-researched-goal oriented, to succeed in life. I did not cry with my husband’s passing because I am in control of my emotions. I can be seemingly generous, but I am always aware of my bank account. 

 

It wasn’t all cold, I cry at movies and with Hallmarks on You-Tube. Sam and I had a beautiful Japanese style, openly non-demonstrative, great marriage because of our inherent spiritual depth. Still lot’s to learn!!