SYMBOL OF PERSISTENCE
GOAL SETTING PRACTICE
STAY BALANCED
These reminders of persistence and goal setting need to be revisited daily and I appreciate having these symbols around to remind me of remembering the activities that "truly move my soul".
I like to think about these things; but mostly, I need to share with family and friends to get the adrenalin going and to feel inspired about my life daily.
I've know about using the Daruma for setting middle range goals of about one year in the future. That is to get a Daruma Doll with blank eyes from places like Seattle's Uwajimaya store. The next step is to set a goal for something I want to accomplish in the next year or so. I did that often for the early years of my Nutrition and Family Counseling business with Shaklee.
What I learned when I helped Tsuguo Ikeda write his book IKE'S PRINCIPLES was that it's also important to be reminded that when we are knocked over, like the symbol of the Daruma, it's important to recover quickly.
I've recently listened to people like Mel Robbins and her 5 second Rule along with Hal Elrod and his 5 minute rule.
It's funny to hear Hal Elrod talk about the time he was told he would be in wheel chair the rest of his life. He quickly decided that he was going to the happiest person in a wheel chair he could imagine.
Later Hal Elrod found himself in a "knocked down position" and as he was setting the timer on his watch, he realized that it was becoming difficult after the first minute or two to keep his outrage going for the rest of the 5 minutes!!!
I'm remembering that I had a huge argument with Anna B about BALANCE being the most important part of our lives when I first started my business. Forty years later, I should call Anna in Alabama and ask her if she has changed her mind???
![LEARNING TO EXPECT TO FALL...]()
LEARNING TO EXPECT TO FALL/FAIL
FALLING CORRECTLY SO ONE GETS BACK UP
Ike has been gone for almost 10 years but I still feel his presence because he taught me this principle of learning to fall/fail and I have cartoon strips like this to remind me of this great lesson of going through life. One of the first skills taught in Judo practice is to learn to fall correctly - learn to expect to fall and learn to roll so that one gets back up again without getting hurt. THE SECRET is to practice over and over again until it is automatic and no longer takes thinking.
Most recently, I have been challenged to reorganize my life with a new paradigm of circumstances and players in my life. There are many encounters where I face a difference of opinion and critical comments. I am practicing a way to “roll” and not get hurt. Therefore, I can get up and try again.
Last weekend, I spent a couple days with my friend who lives in Raymond, WA. She is originally from Japan. We spent two days, non-stop talking and recalling all the failures in our lives that we have overcome. It was an incredible feeling of fulfillment and renewal.
I learned in research that talking and having a listener is at the top of the list of STRESS RELIEF.
![BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN M...]()
BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN MYSELF AND OTHERS
HARMONY WITH NATURE/LEAVING A LEGACY
The other day Kelly had me listen to a podcast interview of Hal Elrod - MIRACLE MORNING. This morning I listened to Stedman Graham - IDENTITY. Inspires me to write out and work on my own 5 point plan.
1. KNOW THYSELF - I AM AN EXAMPLE OF GOOD HEALTH; INTEGRITY/RESILIENCE/HUMOR/HUMBLENESS/RESPECT/KINDNESS
2. HAVE A VISION - TO BRING OUT THE BEST/LEAVE A LEGACY
3. WRITE A PERSONAL PLAN - SHORT/5 YR/LONG TERM
4. “CHEER” PLAN SKILL BUILDING EXERCISES FOR IMPLEMENTATION - EMOTIONAL CONTROL OF REACTIONS/UNIVERSAL ENERGY/GOOD HEALTH
5. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LOVE - LIKEMINDEDNESS FOR LEARNING AND GROWING.
![Pursuing the idea of daily hot ...]()
Pursuing the idea of daily hot baths for
relaxation/meditation and healing.
One of the traditions I maintain is to have a hot bath every night. I'm further inspired by a story I just watched about Matsunoyama Hot Springs in Japan which got established because a hawk bathed in the waters and healed it's wings.
The mineral ingredients may be hard to achieve, but maybe we can find supplemental additives? For sure the warmth above 92 degrees has it's benefits.
One of my early memories is the bath house on my Grandfather's brother's farm. They all worked out in the field from sunrise to sunset, but Auntie came home early and lit the fire under the converted metal horse drinking tub - filled with water situated over a firebox, enclosed in a 6' x 6' shed. Then she went into the house to cook dinner.
There is a proper order of the man of the family first, then the children - boys first - then the mother. We scrub up outside the tub, rinse off and then sit in the tub, sitting on a bench and a wood lathed foot area.
I want a Donabe (ceramic pan) for Christmas so I can make some of what they say is the most wonderful tasting rice ever.
It works!
![GOOD CONVERSATIONS ARE AD...]()
GOOD CONVERSATIONS ARE ADULT TO ADULT
The CHART was developed from a class that Sam and I took called PARENT EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING. It applies to all communication but particularly to PROBLEM TIMES.
In each of us there is a PARENT-ADULT-CHILD. When I talk to 51-yr-old Kelly using my Parent "should", she will respond as a Child. If I whine as a Child, she will respond as a Parent and she does both. My choice is to talk as much as I can as an Adult but consciously choose the skill when I feel tension in the conversation.
Last night, Kelly came and rightfully berated me for something I did wrong. I'm not good at quick answers, so I said nothing. If it's an important issue, we can bring it up again, maybe while we are having Sushi.
Talking as an adult is to use "I language" - not "You language" - and learn to express how I am deeply feeling.
In counseling, If using Adult language is difficult, I always suggest NO TALKING. To resolve an issue with our children, spouse or anyone, I suggest going to a public place to have a discussion. I've always done a lot of treating at favorite restaurants ONE-ON-ONE.
![A Way to Start Daily Practice o...]()
A Way to Start Daily Practice of Direction
for Leveraging Our Energy for Good
Judo Principle Skill Building
Similar to the Judo practice sessions of bowing to honor the teacher and the dojo/practice room, I can start my day with mindfulness of my living space. Using the previous Ikebana Principle of flowers representing “Heaven/Man/Earth I can begin with appreciation of my life and all of creation. Part of the process in Ikebana, as well as with Japanese Gardens, is to bring the mountains, rivers and the flora & fauna into our small living spaces.
This morning, part of my honoring my environment was to clean the area we see as one comes in the door here at my daughter’s apartment. At home in Seattle, I let our girls create and leave a mess up stairs, but I always make my bed and keep our common living area cleaned each day. My secret for getting them to clean their rooms is to invite company over for dinner and they have no problem cleaning their rooms.
The next part of mindfulness in Judo is the skill of understanding our relationship to man. We can not fulfill our basic needs of food/clothing/shelter/safety/learning alone. As Sam shows us in his comic strip, learn to leverage our own energy so it matches the direction of our opponent’s energy producing desired results. Learning skills for opponents can be skills for collaboration and leadership in general
Therefore, I start my mindful practice by understanding my direction in life - “to bring out the best in myself and others”. It took a lot of practice to keep that in my mind as I saw the girls doing something else when they had a limited amount of time to dress and eat breakfast to get out the door for going to school. It was time to use “‘I’ language” or “No talking during problem times” which are skills I have worked to teach in my counseling sessions.
![NEED ALL THREE ON THE TE...]()
NEED ALL THREE ON THE TEAM TO THRIVE
Most of us are part of some work place environment - job, our homes, clubs. If we want that environment to thrive and not just survive, Durst says, "Unlike personality types, operational styles address how you view your job, how you view yourself within a work context..."
I'm a flyer. I like to think about the future, be open and flexible, do things to contribute to the big picture of life. Sam was a walker. He provided the organized information, action and follow-up of our activities. We both liked to think outside the box.
What I thought I didn't like were the climbers. I thought they were arrogant and selfishly trying to get ahead. What I realize now is, that was the flip side of their talents and we need them to move the organization to accomplish the goals and then move on to the next levels.
The Judo principle reminds me to find the direction I am going first. As I meet opposition, use this momentum, match part of their direction and practice the skill of self control to leverage the results that I want.
![THE ART OF GENTLE PERSUAS...]()
THE ART OF GENTLE PERSUASION
The art of Judo is considered a defensive skill such as warding off an unwanted physical attack. Therefore, the practice of the skill in lessons is to take turns throwing the opponent to the ground by using the energy direction already in place. In life we are constantly confronted by nay sayers and physical issues where we can use our Judo skills if we practice.
It occurs to me the natural energy direction can be thought of as "bringing out the best in ourselves and others". Instead of a defensive principle, it is my mission in life to use this idea to help myself and others.
I'm reading this book WALKERS CLIMBERS FLYERS. Leigh Durst gives us ways to enhance our workplace interactions that can be applied to all our relationships with family and our social networks.
In the Myers Briggs profiles I find myself evenly part of all the profiles. With Leigh's questions, I am a flyer. I am reading and rereading to figure out what is the best way to move forward in my life.
I help facilitate a Synergizer group with my Shaklee business and what we have worked on the most is to not be over reactive TO the negativity in society and to criticism thrown at us. Like the Judo Principle - USE THE DIRECTION OF THE ENERGY and the ENERGY for a better outcome.
![POWER OF USING LIMITED RES...]()
POWER OF USING LIMITED RESOURCES!
My cousin said to me recently, "Do you know how poor you were?" I am constantly grateful that I grew up poor. We had the basics.
With Ikebana, the art of flower arranging, the basics are the flowers that represent heaven, man and earth where simplicity adds to the esthetics. The whole of nature is brought in, to inspire us to appreciate nature and all that is available to us, when we let minds and actions express beauty by developing our talents.
Sam and I enjoyed living our life with limited resources. We started our marriage spending $15 a week on groceries. It was fun to see if we could use up everything and have tasty and good looking meals.
It's fun to develop an IKEBANA ATTITUDE.
![BON = TRAY; SAI = PLANTING]()
BON = TRAY; SAI = PLANTING
Bonsai plants bring nature into our homes. I like the comparison of the Gardener to Parenting. Trimming away the excess is the discipline we need, not only in keeping a clean physical environment, but also as part of our thinking.
We need strong roots. IKE'S PRINCIPLES are designed to help us think about our heritage values and a foundation of as said by Barry Schwartz in his TED talk, "Do the right thing, in the right way, at the right time."
Visualizing a fulfilling life with exposure to beauty and nature as our mentors is key. Then, exercising the freedom of making our own choices is important - not leaving our thinking up to our surrounding influences. The gardener has to water every day, especially when it's warm; and bring the plants in when it is freezing outside.
It's our responsibility as we become adult to being our own mentors and parents who take care of the child within as we work to create our God given heaven within. It's fun to add a little humor!
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